Hello friends

New Year has come ! I know you may be surprised because the usual date is Jan, 1st but I perecive it as a bit artificial one. New Year as the name speaks for itself should be the time when everything restarts, when life is reborn and soil begins to grow new plants. Who saw any plants growing on Jan 1st ? Ancient cultures based on birth – death – rebirth cycle set the beginning of the year for the time of spring equinox and luckily there are still some remainings of this way of thinking in the western culture (e.g. zodiac begins with the fire sign of Aries in March). This birth – death – rebirth cycle is very feminine because it is associated with woman’s fertility cycle ruled by the moon but it is also very logical. If you make any New Year resolutions, it doesn’t make sense to begin in January when your body and soul are tired of winter, it’s much better to wait for springtime.

Today I am posting the lyrics of Inkubus Sukkubus’ song called Pagan Born. Candia, the vocalist, sings here My Lord applauds my pagan ways and in my heart He’ll always, always stay pagan born and I suppose that she means God of the Sun whom she mentions a couple of lines earlier. However, for me as for the person brought up as Catholic these words have slightly different meaning. Ever since I was very young I felt instinctively that divinity is not in the church and its rituals  as the elders were trying to convince me. I felt that if the most merciful and the wisest force in the universe exists at all, then this deity surely doesn’t bother with all those recited prayers and rituals that people were performing solemnly in their temples. If this is a divine force then it surely doesn’t think in a human way. It’s human mind that has to make institutions for people’s basic needs: religion for faith, marriage for love etc.

So it is some kind of paradox that getting closer to “pagan” or “wiccan” beliefs (which I simply call ‘based on ancient cults’) made me in fact much closer to the monotheistic God whom I was taught to believe in. When it stopped being a religious duty, it began a very intimate relationship with the force I cannot see but I do feel and listen to. I feel like laughing when atheists try to convince me with philosophical and logical arguments that God can’t exist. That’s just wrong way guys.  Faith has nothing to do with logics. No logical argument can convince me because my belief in God is based on intuition. And vice versa, if you don’t feel His presence yourself, I am not going to persuade you. Fair enough, don’t you think ?

If I believed in what priests say, I would have to believe in the image of God of the Old Testament and the only difference between Yahwe and other ancient gods is the he is the only one. But the quality is the same, he wants sacrifices, he is jealous and vindicative. What is the difference between Yahwe telling Israelites to kill every living creature in Canaan and Artemis killing the daughters of Niobe or sending the boar to Calydon? What happened when Israelites entered Jericho? And they utterly destroyed all that was in the city, both man and woman, young and old, and ox, and sheep, and ass, with the edge of the sword (Joshua 6:21). So let me ask a simple question: If God is a merciful Father to all the human beings as Christians teach, would he forsake half of them? Wouldn’t he punish the other half who killed them?

Let me reveal sth: that’s not God. That’s the deity that people created to justify all their nasty deeds because nothing works better than justifying the evil with the good. And what do you read in further lines? So the LORD was with Joshua; and his fame was noised throughout all the country (Joshua 6:27). Of course! Certainly God was also with conquistadors, crusaders, inquisitors and terrorists when they called his name! Pay attention that all the religious wars appeared when monotheistic religions became powerful. Ancient tribes were killing one another too but not for ‘spiritual’ reasons. Romans invided half of the ancient world but they didn’t pretend they do it for the sake of any god. They were sane enough to let the local deities be worshipped under Roman names and some of them like Isis or Mithras even became very popular in the capital of the Empire. So even though my post may seem heretic to Catholics, I strongly believe that the real heretics were popes, Christian authorities and philosophers justifying them. What they have done to the teachings of Jesus of Nazareth is horrour indeed. However, in contrast to their behaviour  I wouldn’t burn them on stakes despite this inner temptation .

Therefore if you want to believe in merciful God, you have to cut down his image from the Old Testament. There is no other way. Christianity fails because their leaders wanted to find a way to compel the Old Testament with the New One. It makes no sense. How would that be possible? Can the jealous and vindicative God suddenly change into a merciful Father? If he’s the Divine Force then shouldn’t he be constant, omniscient and merciful from the beginning? How can the Bible explain it? It can’t. In fact basing your faith on a holy book is a very ambiguous thing inded. What to do if you set your attitude towards yourself, other beings and the world on a text that comes from different eras, is full of contradictions and wasn’t even dicated personally by your god/prophet themselves but gathered from what his students heard (and I know very well that people do NOT actually listen to your words but what they want to hear plus when there are many people, every of them has their own view on what they heard and they certainly are not objective thus they will add their own content). I prefer to follow this advice which is attributed to Buddha but whoever said so, they were right,

Do not believe in anything (simply) because you have heard it. Do not believe in traditions because they have been handed down for many generations. Do not believe in anything because it is spoken and rumoured by many. Do not believe in anything (simply) because it is found written in your religious books. Do not believe in anything merely on the authority of your teachers and elders. But after observation and analysis when you find that anything agrees with reason and is conductive to the good and benefit of one and all then accept it and live up to it.

Therefore I can say it openly: I strongly believe that God is good, wise and powerful beyond the boundaries of human mind. My God honours the balance between the male and female energies and natural cycles. My God wants me to know that the world is made not only from matter but energy as well and He wants me to enchance to positive vibes. My God teaches me that everything has a spirit and requires me to show respect to everyone even though my heart and logics revolt against it. My God appreciates the simple gestures that I try to make every day. My God understands my emotions. My God leaves me signs and observes my responses but never forces me to do sth nor blackmails me emotionally. My God is forgiving yet requiring; anytime I do sth wrong, He keeps asking me, But why? till I understand. My God never lets me stay on the surface of the problem or controversy, He strongly insists on getting to the core of problem. My God tells me to celebrate the moment, life, nature, other beings, Earth because I am the part of this Great Jigsaw Puzzle He made and he sent me there on purpose even though I regularly show him my discontent about that decision . My God sees my inner struggles, supports the strength and wisdom in me and enjoys my inner work regardless of the pace of progress. My God keeps encouraging me in fulfilling my talents and kicks me in my butt when I become lazy . My God believes that I can made decisions myself and knows I will take the responsability. My God has always better reasons when I argue with Him but hasn’t got any aggression nor anger towards me. My God has a real sense of humour instead. My God strengthens activity, power, determination and concentration in me. My God is a natural leader and a strong supporter at the same time. My God simply likes me. And the older I become the more I like him too. My Lord applauds my pagan ways and in my heart He’ll always, always stay pagan born. Yes, strange as it sounds but I think my monotheistic God is in fact quite pagan.

Inkubus Sukkubus ‘Pagan Born’


Inkubus Sukkubus

A rhythm stirs within the earth
That tells all nature of a birth
A return to light, return to life
And lead us from this darkest night

God of the Sun, now have you come?
Your reign of light has just begun
Though all must die to be reborn
Return now on a bright new morn

My Lord applauds my pagan ways
And in my heart He’ll always, always stay
Pagan born
Pagan born
Whoah, pagan born!

In winter’s cloak we’ve sheltered long
Waiting for spring’s sweet song
Tho’ warmth we found beside the hearth
Its glow could not break through the dark

I look toward the fiery sky
And know that your return is nigh
Though I shall fall as the harvest corn
It is my fate, I’m pagan born!

My Lord applauds my pagan ways
And in my heart He’ll always, always stay
Pagan born!
Pagan born!
Whoah, pagan born!

My Lord applauds my pagan ways
And in my heart He’ll always, always stay
My Lord applauds my pagan ways
And in my heart He’ll always, always stay
Pagan born!
Pagan born!
Whoah, pagan born!

*This post is published on both Black Queen White Queen and Land of Goddesses


2 responses to “ON GOD

  1. Hi, Here is a scripture that I love this time of year. Song of Solomon 2:11For, lo, the winter is past, the rain is over and gone;12The flowers appear on the earth; the time of the singing of birds is come, and the voice of the turtle is heard in our land;13The fig tree putteth forth her green figs, and the vines with the tender grape give a good smell. Arise, my love, my fair one, and come away.

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